Everything’s really far away and I can’t remember things and I want to curl up and cry but not. I’m scared I’m dying and I’m gonna find out about it tomorrow and that there’s just gonna be more pills and less time. That my brain’s just not going to be able to be simultaneously alive and in this body.
I’m back in that you’re probably not going to wake up tomorrow place, that everything’s going to be too little, too late. That wanting to disappear and have everyone I love around me at the same time place.
As a refresher, Ada/Brittni and I broke up two days ago. I had quit my job about a month before this in order to handle my mental state and deal with my best friend who was murdered at that time. So, I have no current income, but I was going to be receiving one month’s…
As of this morning, I am no longer with Ada and Brittni. As many of you know, one of my best friends was murdered 3 weeks ago, and I quit my job to deal with my emotional state because Ada and Brittni were willing to support me for a little while.
Everything’s going to work out. I will finish this thesis. I will get money from Bayer for the bullshit they’ve put me through. This conference is going to go well. My financial situation will improve. I will find a place with Becca in Madison after graduation. Everything WILL work out.
Today, I am humbled to have led a conversation on HuffPost Live about the life and passing of For Brown Girls founder Karyn Washington and what her completion of suicide highlights for us all — specifically communities of color and “strong black women” everywhere.
Grateful to Tai’sha Gooden, Terrie M. Williams and Ty Alexander for joining me and my co-host Marc Lamont Hill. Watch our segment here.